Skip to main content

August Blog Challenge - Day 8

What are five passions you have?

It's hot here.  And I am tired.
Not feeling terribly passionate, so I guess we'll see how this goes.
Maybe if I just start writing...

1. Kindness - our world needs more kindness.  Imagine if all 7 billion people on our planet each did one kind thing for someone each day.  Kindness is always the right choice.  Especially when people don't deserve it.  The hurt that people cause is never greater than the hurt they feel.  Further hurt never solves anything.  I really, really believe that violence is never the answer.  There is always another, better way to accomplish something.

2. Respect - which leads me to respect.  If in addition to being kind, we respect our fellow humans, so much can change.  And I mean all humans.  The first area where there is so much disrespect is in regard to children.  Just because they are small, doesn't mean they are less.  They are full-fledged people.  Really they are.  And it's so important to respect them as such.  Small example I see all the time:  toddler has runny nose.  Mom swoops in from behind with a kleenex and wipes the nose. Toddler yells.  Yeah.  Wouldn't you?  If someone surprise-attacked your nose like that?  We tell them, "You can't possibly be hungry."  or "Take two more bites." as if they don't know their own hunger cues.  And guess what?  When we override them like that, they lose the ability to gauge their own hunger and begin to eat for the wrong reasons.  We say, "Shh, shh, you're okay." when they cry.  No, they're not okay and it's important for them to be able to express it.  How about, "Wow, you're upset. Let me stay with you until you feel calmer."  And don't even get me started on circumcision.  But it's not just children.  Our world is full of examples of disrespect.  People don't respect law enforcement, medical professionals, teachers.  They are rude to waitresses, cashiers and mechanics.  People are judged for how much education they have, how much money they earn and what car they drive.  And the level of disrespect rises to violence.  School shootings, officers killed in the line of duty, rape on college campuses.  STOP!  If you don't believe in miracles, then perhaps you've forgotten that you are one.  And so is he.  And so is she. And so are they.

3. Diversity - I have a son with a disability.   I have an uncle, who is like my big brother, who is gay. I love a man who is black. This is so important to me.  Whether it's culture, religion, race, language, gender, sexuality, ability/disability, physical or mental illness, income level...whatever it is that makes us different from one another...this is something to embrace.  Something to love and be excited about.  People are different.  That's what makes them interesting.  Kenny will never be neurotypical.  And that's okay.  He has his own gifts to bring to our world.  He is funny and fiercely loyal and all about sports.  He's the best friend you'll ever have.  No he's not "normal."  He has autism.  But that's part of who he is.  It makes him unique.  It makes him different.  And differences should never be barriers. I could have put EQUITY along with diversity.  Because we have to make sure that each person has what they need.  And because people have different histories, different barriers it's not always about treating everyone the same.
If you come from a background of privilege, this may be hard to understand.  Our society has long given preference to certain groups.  If you're straight, if you're white, if your gender matches your sex, if you're male, if you're Christian, whether you believe it or not, you've been privileged.  At the expense of people who are not these things. It creates bias, which is often unconscious.  And privilege blinds us.  To read more:  click here.

4.  Learning - I love to learn things.  And every time I learn something new, it's like I walked through a door.  Into a room with six more doors.  I discover even more things I don't know.  I'm hungry and curious to learn them all.  The more I learn, the more I find how little I know, how much there is to know.  And every person I meet knows things that I don't know.  One of my favorite phrases is, "I don't know." Because it gives me an opportunity to find out.  So read, meet new people, ask a lot of questions, value learning that is different from yours.  I went once to a welding class.  I may have read Shakespeare, Stalin and Steinbeck in college, but that doesn't make me smarter than these students. They know about chemical interactions and how to form a bead and what fuel works with what metal and all kinds of information that I know nothing about.  Howard Gardner proposes that there are nine different kinds of intelligence.  Wow!  Nine.  Let's learn to value them all.

5. Love - you know this.  Love hard. Love often.  Love loud.  Love without reservation.  Love without fear.  Love without agenda.  Unconditionally.  Every day.  With everything you've got.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbyes

So I had my first Walla Walla goodbyes.
The first was my eye doctor, Dr. Poffenroth.
He's taken care of my eyes for 25 years.
He's more than just an eye doctor.  He's a caring person and a friend.
As I left my last appointment, he handed me a card with a referral to a friend of his who practices in Port Angeles.
I looked at the card.
And realized...I won't see him again.

I've been living in a bit of denial.
I know.  Big surprise.

With all the excitement and chaos of moving,
And all the stress of living in limbo,
I somehow missed that I'd be leaving some things
some people
behind.

I know I'll be back often.
To see my kids and the new grandbaby,
friends and family.
This fact allowed me to forget...
there are some I won't see.

Even though we promise to keep in touch,
Life has a way of getting busy.
Good intentions and all that.

I  have written many times about Walla Walla.
It's a magical place.
Safe, nurturing.
I never thought I'd leave.

People ask…

Being a Widow on Father's Day

This day never gets easier.
never

I scroll facebook and I see
that my children and I are not alone.
So many families missing dads on
Father's Day.

We are lucky.
Dave was here,
and fought to stay,
as long as he could.
He left a legacy that we will
always remember.
He was honest and kind and caring.
He was full of faith and joy and love.
His example leads us through every day
without him.
Missing him never goes away.

I want to give a "shout-out"
to all those moms who do double duty.
Who work hard to be the best mom that they can,
and try to fill the empty space left by a dad
who is no longer here.

For the last almost 11 years,
and often in the years before that
when Dave was so sick,
I tried to do what I could.
"There is no way to be a perfect mother,but a million ways to be a good one."
I worked two jobs.  Sometimes three.
A few times, even four.
To make sure my kids could stay in their childhood home,
to try to provide some safety, stability and security
in a wo…

Tattoo

So.
I got a tattoo.  Christine actually wrote on my facebook post, "You??"
Yeah.  Me.

I've been thinking about it for six years.
I finally decided that if after six years, I still wanted it, maybe it was time.

The writing is Dave and Doug's.
Taken from notes they wrote me.
They always signed their notes the same way.

I thought I was doing it in memory of them.
To mark the way they are always on my heart.
To have a visible reminder.
A permanent keepsake,
always with me.

And while it is that.
It is also more.

I didn't realize it,
until afterwards.

It's a marker.
A closing of a chapter.
Closure, if you will.

I don't know how to explain it.
The minute it was finished,
I knew.
I knew something inside me was different.

Dave,
and to a lesser extent,
Doug,
have been part of my every thought
every day
for over 10 years.

Daryl saw the Dali Lama this summer.
One thing he learned:
Interrogate your truth.

I've been thinking about that a lot.

Interrogate implies a…