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Showing posts from July, 2005

Diane

Sunday, July 31, 2005 8:45 PM CDT

Oh, Diane, down there in the other corner....don't you know that up here in Walla Walla it's ALWAYS football season???

Just ask Lisa, my across the street neighbor. Football. Monday through Sunday. Football. January through December. Football. Sunup through sundown. You guessed it. Football.

Love you!

PS. #1. No, but you do have to move several footballs and tees in order to mow the lawn. #2. Yes, often. #3. Yes, always. #4. Yes, despite this ex-cheerleader's yelling. Shook my pompoms, even, but no luck. #5. No, but considering the traffic we've had, I may just put them out with their little aprons and make some cash!

Opinions and Decisions

Thursday, July 28, 2005 6:00 PM CDT

Things are deteriorating rapidly. It's frightening and heartbreaking. We got a wheelchair for Dave today. He's unable to walk even a short distance, and he's a big man, 6'2", so I can't help very much. He had another fall last night. He decided to get up and go to the bathroom without me and fell. No injuries, luckily he missed all the furniture and the bedroom is carpeted, but it scared me good. I said, "WHAT were you doing??" He said, "Well, I was trying to win you some money." I said, "Money??" He said, "Yeah, I was entering the stupidity contest." So as you can see, our Dave is still there. He's amazing. So strong, such a fighter. His body is betraying him at every corner, and he just smiles, hugs and tries harder. He finds humor in the tough spots, and although they call me the caregiver, it's the other way around. He cares for everyone around him. He reaches out, comforts,…

KOKO

Sunday, July 31, 2005 0:22 AM CDT

Not much to update. Dave had some nausea today, and was very tired this morning. Actually, all day. He was pretty wobbly this morning. Up and down. Yesterday, he navigated stairs really well. Today, no go. We're learning to roll with the punches.

Starting to take a toll on the kids. Everyone's pretty emotionally fragile right now, trying to adjust to the reality of what life is like in this moment, trying to keep hope alive, trying to find those peaceful moments in the day. It's hard. Scary for them to see Dad, who's always been big and strong and their source of safety and protection, be the one who needs help.

Deb took the kids to the pool today, a much needed break for them...thanks, hon. Got Mark's cd in the mail. Dave was so happy! Listening to "Driving the Eights" all day.

Dave's dad has had some dizziness, so pray for him, too, k?

I'm sure there's more, but I'm drawing a blank. Love you all, Shelley

Stop the World

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 8:15 PM CDT

Today we're listening to the Currents, Dave's voice, strong and clear, wishing we could stop the world, right here, right now, holding on to these rare moments, these quiet spaces, this time together.

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I’ll stop the world and melt with you
You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing you and I won’t do
I’ll stop the world and melt with you

(you should know better)
Dream of better lives the kind which never hate
(you should see why)
Dropped in the state of imaginary grace
(you should know better)
I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race
(you should see why)
What I’m comprehending a race that long gone bye

(I’ll stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
(I’ll stop the world) you’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time
(let’s s…

Scan Results

Monday, July 25, 2005 4:55 PM CDT

Now a different kind of waiting.

The scan shows growth. We expected that. We didn't expect the extent. It's fully crossed the corpus callosum--we're now dealing with a "butterfly glioma." The means it's invaded the frontal lobe on the left side. It's also grown greatly on the right side, more in the frontal lobe, and now there is parietal lobe and occiptal lobe involvement. Many of these areas are clearly outside the area where they did the gamma knife.

Scans went to Duke, UW and UCSF today. We'll wait to hear about next options. There are some other chemos out there, none very good. Radiation and surgery are not options.

We walk through this valley, and cling to each other and to our Savior.

Love, Shelley

Take My Life by Jeremy Camp

Here I am before You now
I'm like a child reaching out
Here I am I'm giving all I can
Breaking my pride I feel I'm through
Shattered inside I run to You
And now I give it all to You

Take m…

Waiting

Monday, July 25, 2005 11:40 AM CDT

Monday,
waiting
waiting
waiting
praying
praying
praying

we get results at 1:15 pm. Please pray with us.
In His grip,
Shelley

Cancer Sucks

Thursday, July 21, 2005 12:19 AM CDT

CANCER SUCKS!

We went to the cancer center today. As expected, Dr. Sachs wants to move Dave's MRI up sooner because of all the symptoms he's been having. So the MRI is tomorrow at 4:00 pm. Please, please pray your hardest, most earnest pleas on Dave's behalf.

He could not have avastin today because he has a HUGE bruise on his neck where he fell and hit the edge of the table.

He could not have CPT-11 because the doc doesn't want to give him any more CPT-11 until they know for sure whether the tumor is growing or not.

We have an appointment Monday to get results of the scan.

Doc said to keep Dave's decadron at the 8 mg level for now, until we know what's going on.

We're getting a walker today. Getting into the cancer center was horrible today, it almost killed both of us. Hopefully, Dave will be able to manage a walker. If not, it will have to be a wheelchair.

We're in the midst of painting and getting ready to do some work in…

Bit by bit

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 8:54 PM CDT

Wednesday,
thank you all who hit your knees last night and gave God an "earful" like Diane. Prayer power, combined with an increase in Dave's dex, has made a difference. He's clearer today. Was up for a while, and although still shaky, he could walk. He hasn't eaten a lot, but what he ate stayed down. We'll take what we can get at this point.

I'm still only on chapter 2 of Harry Potter, and Z is really giving me a hard time. Drat. I finished 2 books last week: Little Earthquakes and Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons, but this week, nothing doing. And Z thinks it's funny that he read a book faster than I did. I'm slipping!

Kenny is in a much better mood today as well. He's been quite worried about Dave, and for Kenny, it means he struggles with getting angry. Angry at the docs, angry at the disease, and sometimes angry at Dad and the rest of us. It's so good to see him smile.

Zach's spent the last few days…

Prayer Needed

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 0:49 AM CDT

Hello all. Okay, prayer warriors, it's time to increase the time on our knees!!

Dave has had a hard time these past few days. He's pretty much lost all function on the left side. He can still move his left arm, but can't use his hand at all. His leg shakes so much when he tries to stand that he's been pretty much confined to bed for the past few days. His right arm and leg also have tremors. He's been confused some, too. It's very scary for all of us.

He has had some trouble swallowing, tending to choke. He's eating only sporatically, and he's thrown up a few times.

He has times where he seems to be himself, where he's alert and with us. And there are times when he's pretty blank. His face is droopy on the left side.

We upped his steroids to see if perhaps the symptoms are due to swelling from the gamma knife. Too early to tell if that's working.

The gk folks told us that 3-6 months after gamma knife that he…

Appointment Update

Sunday, July 17, 2005 4:40 PM CDT

Dave had his doctor appointment on Thursday. Good news, the blood counts are rebounding, and he didn't need to take any procrit. This was the week off chemo. Yeah!

Dave's still quite tired. Left side is losing function, which concerns me quite a bit. He had a very nasty fall this week and cannot grip with his left hand any more. His appetite is pretty good when he's awake, but having only one hand to work with makes eating a chore.

You should see Zach. He knows that doorways and steps are difficult for Dad, so he just positions himself so that Dad can use his shoulder for support. He's patient, and just waits until Dave is ready. It's one of those bittersweet moments. A young boy should not have to guide and support his Dad. It should be the other way around. And yet, Zach quietly assumes this responsibility, shouldering it with grace, dignity and love. I'm proud of him. And my heart breaks for him.

Thanks to Sarah and family for i…

An Ordinary Day

Thursday, July 14, 2005 3:08 AM CDT

A pretty regular day! A normal day! For the Meyer household, this is unequivocally a MIRACLE!

After weeks of sleeping most of the time, being weak and disoriented when he was awake, having difficulty telling the difference between dreams and reality (let me tell you the one where he thought we were on an island and there was a conspiracy to steal someone's pile of cash.....) Dave got up this morning....morning I said, not evening, not afternoon, morning....and had breakfast. Slowly. Then lunch. Then Wendye came by with cookies and lemonade! She told Dave to stay up for another hour. And I went to teach my class. Came home at 9:30 and Dave was still awake.

And not only awake, but alert. With it. Groovin'. No fuzzy, glazed donut look in his eyes.

He got pretty tired by the end of the day, but wow. To see him up and around and in conversations was pretty amazing. And wanting to be up. The last few weeks, anytime he was up, it was because I insisted…

We Rest

Wednesday, July 13, 2005 12:25 AM CDT

Today we rest.

No chemo. Dave's got a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, and will get a shot of procrit, but it's that magical week where the week off from CPT-11 coincides with the week off from Avastin. Whoopee. Maybe this will perk Dave up, having a rest.

Next chemo is next Thursday, the 21st.

Here is our family theme song:

Now And Forever by True Vibe

Hands on the clock count the minutes, the hours
Your love has the power, stronger than time or space
You're the rock that I stand on, my anchor
To You I will give all the praise
And there's nothing that I've got to hide
With the power of God on my side

Now and forever
I promise I will always love You
All my life
One thing I know for sure
We'll be together
Every day I'll love You better
More and more
Now and forever I'm Yours
Now and forever I'm Yours

Lost in a dream, under stars, under moonlight,
You are the one Light leading me out of the dark
You're the breath that I …

End of baseball

Saturday, July 9, 2005 8:28 PM CDT

Ahh baseball. It's over for the summer. Sigh. The kids made a good effort, but fell to Kennewick today. Didn't rally back this time. They only scored 3 runs. It was tough, but fun. Zach had all good at-bats, (1 walk, 1 hit and I can't remember the others, but he got on base every time...and he scored 2 of the 3 runs.) He had a spectacular jumping catch at short stop. He had one dropped ball--he caught it on the edge of his mitt and it squeezed out. Deb calls those snow-cones. And an error--just got by him. Made a few other plays. He got himself into a pickle between third and home, which was very exciting, especially since he was quick enough to get back on base safe! He pitched a couple of innings, and held his own pretty well against a good hitting team. I think he only walked one batter and it was when he tried to throw a curve and the ball popped out and hit the batter. Oops! Anyway, it wasn't the super game he had yesterday, but i…

All-Star!

Friday, July 8, 2005 8:47 PM CDT

WHEW! Turns out Dave got the message backward. Zach's pertussis test was NEGATIVE. YIPEE!! We're happy about that one!

The All-Star game was great today. Zach played short stop and batted 4th in the line-up. He had a double, a single, and 2 walks. Very exciting game. They were down 1-11 at one point in the game, and came back to tie it. It came down to the bottom of the 7th and Pullman managed to get in that one run, to win the game 13-12. The kids did great. They have a lot to be proud of. Zach pulled his quad (thigh) muscle running to first in his first at-bat in the top of the 1st. Had to sit out a couple of innings, but ice and ibuprofen, and he was back at it. It was a really fun game. They play tomorrow at 10:00 in Kennewick. Hoping, hoping they win that one.

Baseball is just the best.

Love, Shelley

Another day, another chemo

Thursday, July 7, 2005 6:51 PM CDT

Hi everyone!

Chemo day...always good to see Alex's face. Makes the trip to the dreary basement worth it.

Good news, Dave's blood counts are hanging in the barely okay range. He got CPT-11 and avastin today. His eye is still bothering him, we'll be making an appointment with Dr. Poff, his optometrist. Dave's having a lot of "drippy nose" and blowing his nose a lot. Last few days that's been bloody, a concern because of avastin and blood thinners. So far, nothing too severe, but we're watching and praying about this. Doc gave him some allergy meds, hopefully that will help.

Dave's been sleeping 18-20 hours a day. Seems to be most awake at night after 11:00 or midnight. He's like a newborn, got his days and nights mixed up. Doc gave him some ambien, hoping to turn the schedule around. Dave doesn't want to take any more pills. In fact, that's always been an issue, and is now huge. With his short term memory b…

Still Believe

Tuesday, July 5, 2005 5:02 PM CDT

We got transportation for Thursday, thank you for your offers, Tracy, Marty/Max, Peggy, and Laura. We are so grateful!

Still Believe
by Jeremy Camp

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start
But it's now I feel Your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises I still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see You prepare
But it's now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into Your arms
Where I throw to You my feeble prayers in brokeness
I can see that this is Your will for me
Help me to know You are near

Independence Day

Sunday, July 3, 2005 4:19 PM CDT

Happy Independence Day! We are so fortunate to live where we do, and are grateful to all those who sacrificed in the service and defense of our country so that we could enjoy the freedoms we often take for granted. Uncle Darren, this one's for you!

We've got a campfire going in the backyard now most evenings. Come by, bring your own marshmallows.

Sleepy days. "Tired" continues to be the word around here. Dave's been feeling very nauseous, too, which concerns me. He's not eating much.

Mom & Dad left, had some things to do. The kids are drifting and kind of lost without them here. We miss Amy and Luke, too.

My dad's best buddy from middle school/high school died a few days ago. His name was Jim Pruitt. They are planning to go to the service in Bellingham. I'm glad that Dad got to see Jim again a few weeks ago.

We need somebody to stay with kids on Thursday while Dave gets chemo. From 8:30 am to about noon. Involves getting…