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Showing posts from October, 2005

Cry Out To Jesus

Saturday, October 29, 2005 12:03 AM CDT

New photos today, October 29, 2005. Both on the caringbridge site photo page and at the Yahoo photo on the Halloween 05 album.

Cry Out to Jesus
by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in…


Monday, October 24, 2005 3:17 AM CDT

I need to find some time to write.

After the numbness of denial, and the outcry that is bargaining...anger is the next phase. I've been there. Off and on for a week or so. It's a hard phase to write about. Especially when I'm mad at everyone and no-one. Nobody wins, no matter what they say. Alex knows what I mean. It's hard to explain. It's this feeling that...well, one part of my brain says, "Shell, if you're mad at EVERYONE, perhaps the common denominator is YOU." And the other part of my brain says, "So what's your point?" It's like when we were going through the diagnosis process with Kenny. I'd call my mom and say, "Gosh, I'm really worried about Kenny. (Insert example of odd Kenny behavior here)." And if Mom said, "Honey, I think you're doing this right, you should go get it checked, you're such an aware, thoughtful mom." I'd seethe..."How can she e…


Saturday, October 22, 2005 7:56 PM CDT

"Be My Escape"
Relient K

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not…

Computer Problems

Monday, March 21, 2005 10:38 PM CST

Will be offline for a while, computer problems. If you'd like to check out more Disney photos, you can go to: and click on the album called Disney 2.

Dave will start thalidomide soon. He had to fill out a million papers and forms (and we all know how he LOVES that!)

Hope to be online soon with photos of Zach's b-ball tourney and baseball games. Kate will be in the talent show tomorrow and we'll hope for pics of that, too.

Love to all, Shelley

Business and Prayer

Thursday, October 20, 2005 5:36 PM CDT

Lots of emotional stuff to write, will update those issues tonight, I think....

But on the business end:

1. DVD's of the service, which include the heartfelt songs that Erik and Mark wrote and sang for Dave, the worship songs that Dave loved sung by Jeffrey, Patrice and Shane, Amazing Grace led by Hannah, and Forever with the children doing the hand motions, and of course, the magical picture and music show pulled together by Jeffrey...will be available soon. It costs Jeffrey about $8 in supplies to make each DVD.

We'd like to have an idea of how many we'll be needing, so if you want one, please let me know ASAP. If you can afford the $8, you can get that to me. If you can't, and want one, there has been a donation to help out in those situations.

A huge thank you to Jeffrey. He's done so much for us. The time and energy and love he has put into this project is a reflection of the love he and Dave had for one another and for their …

Grief, Revealed

Saturday, October 8, 2005 12:01 AM CDT

Whew! Well that little entry created quite a flurry, didn't it? LOL. Well, I guess most of you don't know how much of a flurry, because you don't get the private e-mails. Side would be good for those e-mails to go public. Grief, this journey through an alien, barren landscape, is universal. Most have walked a similar path. Each path is different, but there are commonalities in our experiences, threads as Jeffrey calls them, feelings, my thoughts echoed in someone else's story. Some choose not to share or to share with a select few. Their right, their call, their decision. But I do know that the sharing of these stories brings understanding, brings connection to others, and opens the way for God to be present. "Whenever two or more are gathered"....we cannot do this alone.

So that is a part of the reason that I share, that connection, touching that universal archetype within us all. It's not the mo…

Falling Apart

Thursday, October 6, 2005 1:56 AM CDT

This is awful.
It's worse than I could have imagined.
It's simply indescribable.

I'm falling apart. I can't do this anymore. We're a mess. A mess. I can't think. I can't feel. I can't see.

Kenny had his 15th birthday. Dave's not here. How can that be?

Homecoming, spirit week, football...the things he loved, and he's not here.

I guess the numbness is lifting.

We're struggling. There just isn't room for anything but this grief, this empty feeling. People don't understand. They've already adjusted. Gone on. Kenny, Zach, Kate and I are on hold. Waiting for something that will never come. Trying to grasp that. Living in a world we no longer recognize. A landscape where emotion swirls past us and through us, overwhelming us, making us feel no longer part of anything.

The resilience of children is a gift and a curse. Middle school is the worst. Some of Zach's friends have accused him of being moody and m…

Kenny's Birthday

Monday, October 3, 2005 11:05 AM CDT


Life is rolling along.

Football. Football is good. Got a pic of Kenny and Matt, I’ll scan it in, it’s worth a thousand words.

The WaHi Journal did a big article on Dave, with the famous Greg Lehman photo of Dave and Kate on the front page. There was a picture of Dave and Zach on the back page. Kenny was sad that there wasn't a picture of him and his dad, especially since he is the WaHi student. It was a loving tribute and included a lot of letters about and to Dave.

I’m going to post another letter here. This is a letter that I found in Dave’s wallet. He carried it for quite some time. It’s folded, dog-eared, and worn, and notes are written all over the outside of the paper. It was obviously important to Dave, something he read many times over. Inside:

Dear Mr. Meyer,
I’m sitting here, thinking about what to write. There’s so many things I want to say to you. At the beginning…