Skip to main content

Different Loves

I really believe that in this life,
there are many loves that will come your way.

Some are family.
A mom's touch, a dad's guidance, a sister's phone call.
A daughter's laugh, a son's tears.
These are all bits of love
rained into our lives.

Some are friends.
Those who listen, those who call bullshit,
those who sit with you when your heart is breaking wide open.
Those who stay, when everyone else leaves,
to help you pick up the pieces.
And make you laugh,
when you thought you never would again.
This is love, too.

It comes our way, every day,
in a million different ways,
different shapes and sizes.

Even romantic love.
There are loves that last a minute.
And loves that last a lifetime.

We must learn to welcome each love,
every love,
and accept it for what it is meant to be.

How can love last only a minute?
I'll tell you.

One day in Tacoma,
I took my Bobcat to the gas station.
I was about 20 years old.
I fitted the nozzle into the tank
and began fueling.

I looked up over the roof of my car.
And suddenly locked eyes
with the boy filling his pickup truck
across the way.

His eyes were bluest blue,
staring through a fringe of sandy hair
under a baseball cap.

And just like a song,
the world stood still.
I was aware of nothing but his eyes,
looking deep into me.

I caught my breath, but couldn't look away.
Time was meaningless.
I was lost in that moment,
lost in an ocean
lost in blue eyes.

And then a car drove between us
and the spell was broken.
I blinked.
With shaky hands,
I finished the task at hand,
got into my car,
and merged into traffic.

That was a two-minute love.
It was a moment I remember vividly
32 years later.
It was almost magical.
It brought me peace and joy.
It made me smile a secret smile.
It makes me feel happy,
even after all this time.

I accepted that this tiny love
came into my life
only for a fleeting moment,
but with a gift to give.

I could have tried to bend it
into something it wasn't.
I could have wondered
"Why didn't I give him my number?"
"What if that was my soulmate and I missed it?"
"Why didn't I..."
"I should have..."

And regret,
self-recrimination
would have bled all over
the perfect moment.
Tarnishing the memory.
Rusting the gift.

(chapter 2 coming soon)







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kyle

Tomorrow is January 2. One of the five happiest days of my life. It's the day Kyle was born. Dave was so excited. All through the pregnancy, Dave was sure this was a girl. He bought this little pink sleeper. He was just sure that Kyle was a girl. Actually, he was sure it was a girl all four times! But if he were to be a boy, his name was to be Kenny or Erik. Kenny or Erik. Erik or Kenny. We went back and forth. Dave said, "Oh, it didn't matter anyway, since Amanda Loree was going to be born." A few days before Kyle was born, we had an ultrasound, because there had been so much confusion on his due date (turned out he was 3.5 weeks overdue!), and we discovered he was a boy! A boy! We were amazed. And suddenly decided to name him Kyle. Don't ask me why or how. It just happened. Dave's brother, Bob, was in town for the weekend. I'd had a lot of contractions on Dave's birthday, he was hoping that Kyle would be born on his birthday, but it didn...

Tumor Board

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 1:13 PM CDT We met with doctors at Harborview yesterday. Dave has a new growth in his right frontal lobe. This new growth is very small, but it was not evident at his MRI in May, and shows on the MRI in July. It's quite scary that it has grown so quickly, and is in a new place. It's also scary that it grew while Dave was on temodar (chemo). The doctors from the tumor board are recommending gamma knife. Gamma knife is high intensity radiation that is very accurate and focused on the tumor growth. There are 201 beams aimed at the tumor. (See the main page for a link to information about gamma knife, you have to scroll to the bottom.) On Thursday, August 19, 2004, Dave will undergo gamma knife at Harborview in Seattle. We are hoping that this will halt the growth of the tumor. He will go into the hospital at 7:00 am and they will place a halo or frame around his head, by screwing it into his skull (ouch! They will give him some IV pain meds). They took x-r...

Catching Up

Hello Constant Reader, Friend, Ally, Supporter, Prayer Warrior, Brother, Sister... I'm not sure what I would do without the support I get through this blog. I might go insane. Wait...I might be there already. In fact so much so that I asked my children tonight what they thought of moving to the Seattle area. They all looked at me like I had three heads. I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic, but I look around and realize that in many ways, I'm terribly unhappy and lonely. So like any good 12-stepper, I look for a quick fix...geographical cure. Wouldn't it be nice to start over? Just ditch everything and go somewhere new and fresh and clean? Not really, I guess. For instance, we would have missed this one: Zach says, "Mom, I need lunch money." (This, as I'm sweetly encouraging Kenny for the 15th time to get in the shower, as I'm gently reminding Kate for the 10th time to brush her teeth, as I'm giving positive affirmations to them all...