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Okay, so here's the story. Tuesday, Kate goes to basketball practice at 4:00 am (really 6:30, but this what's a story without a little exaggeration?) and then has AAU practice in the evening at something like 7:00 pm. She gets home a little tired, and feels warm. I think she's just doing too much. Zach's been coughing for days and not sleeping well and is all congested. The nine inches of snow we got is STILL hanging around. And I just went to Home Depot 3 times in one night to try to get a sump pump so my basement doesn't flood. So that's the scene.

First act, I get up on Tuesday, Zach sounds a little worse and Kate's got a bit of a fever. So I give them tylenol, give Zach instructions to give his sister fluids and more tylenol in 4-6 hours and to call me if there are any problems. I go to work. (Kenny meantime, healthy as a horse, as always.) So no call. No news is good news, right?


Second act, I pick up Kenny, get home at 3:30 and say, "Hey, Z, how are you?" He's lounging on the couch, coughing. "I did my math assignments."

Mom thinks, "WOW." Says, "Good for you, you must be proud of yourself. You sound like you're still coughing, though, how's Kate?"

"She hasn't woke up today."

Brain screeches to a halt. "Not at all?"


Okay, I'm thinking, "Did it not occur to you that not waking up might, just might, be a reason for concern? You are so fired as a nurse. Why did I not stay home?"

Third act: But I manage to not scream. And go upstairs, and wake Kate. She's got a temp of 104. She's delusional. "Mom you're shaking. So is the tv." "No honey, I think your eyes are shaky." "Hey, make everything stop moving so fast." She can't stand up and her eyes are rolling around in her head.

So we go to the doctor and sure enough. She tests positive for influenza. Not your garden-variety flu....the BIG flu. The one you get vaccinated for. Except we didn't. Long story there, but believe me when I say there is a reason. And a 10 year old girl from Walla Walla died of this last week.

Okay, color me freaked out.

But they put her on an antiviral regimen, and last night she was feeling well enough to throw a sock at her brother. She's still very tired, but her fever hasn't spiked in 24 hours, so I think the worst is over.

Zach missed three days of school and one basketball game. His team lost that game. There goes the undefeated season. DRAT. Z was able to play last night, although he's not 100%. They won that game.

Kenny gets braces on Tuesday. Wish me luck. He's already fretting about it. And following me around the house telling me that he's FINISHED with dentists and won't go. This ought to be truckloads of fun.

I met with an attorney last week. (A friend, Terri.) About guardianship for Kenny. It will be a simple thing. But I was surprised how much sadness I felt about the whole thing. It's one step I need to take to protect Kenny, but it means facing...and declaring...that he's not going to be able to manage these things himself. As we go on, day-to-day, Kenny does so well. It's easy to pretend sometimes, that he's just a regular teenager. In some ways he is. Most of the time I can just not look at the ways he's not. This brings it all right out there. Ready or not. He's going to turn 18.

And once again, I come face-to-face with all those dreams. You know what I mean, when your baby is born, you hold them in your arms and you imagine. You believe. The whole world is waiting for him. He can do ANYTHING. He is PERFECT. Except when it's not. I think we all have to face that the dream child we imagine is different from the real child we have. But there are some of you out there who understand what I'm saying. Who know that sharp razor, who've experienced the keenness of that loss. It changes your world profoundly. Forever.

I could write a lot more about that...but not in the space to do that right now. At least the animals are having a blast:


  1. I am so glad to see the Meyer Clan is getting better. I can't imagine how scarred you must have been. This is really bad stuff going around this year. Keep her warm and fuzzy. Don't let her start that busy schedule to soon. Kenny has done so well, but, he is different and he does need that little extra protection and you are doing the right thing to get it for him. He has been so successful because you are right there as his biggest cheerleader and so many of us readers are so proud of you. No the sump pump . . I don't know but I hope it stops snowing soon!

  2. What a scary situation! I'm glad the anti-viral fixed her up, but recuperating from something like that takes time. I'm sending prayers for the difficult decisions you must face.


  3. Glad the kids are feeling better.
    That's spooky when they get shaky like that. Stay well!!!!!!!!

    I know the sharpness of the gaurdianship. It is a very difficult process to deal with. They took Ben's voting rights away and I feel that he could say who he would like to vote for, especially after me being so involed on the DD council. He even went and spoke to the legislators twice and believe me he told them what he thought, but no a person who met him only a matter of less than and hour made that call- one that still burns me. It feels somewhat degrading. I wish there were a better way to do this even though Ron and I felt we needed to. It must be extra hard because of how great Kenny does, but you always know you will always work together with Kenny. It's just some added peace of mind I guess. I do think there are part gaurdianships but I don't rememeber what all they entail.

    Ben fell on the ice and broke two bones in his hand so pray things go well with the ortho tommorrow.
    Take care, You know I do pray for you Michelle and the kids.

  4. Wow - that is an awful flu! We've been spared here (so far) though only my husband got the vaccine. I'm so glad Kate is on the mend.

    I (sort of) know how you feel about the proxy thing, as one of my best friends had to do this for her autistic daughter. Yes, those dream die hard, and it shouldn't ever be.

    Sent you an email. Just letting you know since the last one was lost in the shuffle for a while. :)

    Take care of yourself, and the kids!

    --Patti in NJ

  5. We haven't done flu vaccine this year either, for probably less reason than you.

    I can feel what you're saying about guardianship. Doug and I were doing some estate planning, and my dad also, and wondering what, if any, accomodations we should make for Steven.

    Thing is, at some point he won't be on our health insurance and how will he ever be able to afford any for himself?

    One bridge at a time, one bridge at a time...

    I pray that Kate stays better. And as for Zach, well, now that I'm living with two adult men and two male children and a male dog, I'm convinced that the Y chromosome causes the brain to function in an unbalanced fashion, some parts of the brain are over-developed and other parts are disabled.

    The part that said if Kate wasn't making any sounds or asking for anything at all could indicate a problem just didn't work. Sad thing is, I could see this happening with my hubby if there was a football game on.

    Hoping for easier times in Casa Meyer.

  6. Chelle just stopping by hoping Kenny's braces went on without too much trouble. I know it is Thursday but I really was thinking about Kenny and his Mom on Tuesday.


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