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The Day After

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” John W. Gardner

Well, we were up until 3:00 am. That's all I'll say about that.

It first appeared that today would be a re-run of yesterday. Continued puking. Hydrocodone is hard on an empty stomach. And eating is no fun if you've got major holes in your jaw and your stomach is rolling. Besides, that "soft foods only" instruction is rather annoying to someone who only eats toast, granola, crackers, chips, french fries, apples, nachos, peanuts, popcorn and carrot sticks. Oh....he does eat corn, milk and ice cream, those kind of qualify as soft.

No blood now, so the scenes look less like an ax murder took place and more like a bile factory gone wrong. That's something to be happy about. Told my mom and sister they'd have to be witnesses if I was ever suspected of something and those cool CSI guys sprayed my house with luminol. Every room would light up and they'd put me on death row!

I should explain. Even though Kenny's 17 and in theory should be able to use a basin, well, autism comes into play and Kenny tries to get away from the feeling. When it's high in his throat and coming fast, he shakes his head and...well, you get the idea.

Finally got some ice cream in Kenny this afternoon and the meds stayed in. Insert picture of me pulling my fist in toward my waist in a victorious gesture...YES!!!

Got some antinausea meds if we have a round 12 or 13 or whatever we're up to. Kenny could tell you. He's been counting. Tried to get a different pain med, but hydrocodone is the easiest on the stomach of all those pain meds that are available in a liquid. Stupid pharmaceutical companies.

(Sidebar: for those of you that haven't known me long, I don't really think that. And I don't begrudge those companies one cent. I pink puffy heart them. I know it's unusual, but there are reasons. I feel the same way about insurance companies. See caringbridge site for history of all that.)

PS. "pink puffy heart" blatantly stolen from Kristie, author of the crap sandwich story and pink puffy heart-er of Sonic. You can visit her here. But she's way cooler than I am, so just come back, okay?
Not Quite What I Had Planned Blog by Kristie

And...being as tired as I am, I managed to burn dinner. You'll be relieved to know the pan came out unscathed. Cue sound guy to play the audio: collective sigh of relief. The turkey kielbasa....not so much. The corn and beans were okay, and I didn't chance making my own rolls...I didn't even heat up the ready-made ones in the microwave, just served them cold. And the green salad was pretty fire-proof.

So I ended up at McDonald's for the protein portion of our meal. I'm classy like that.

And my phone rings. It's Kenny. He's pretty sure he can handle some fries. If he snaps off the crunchy ends. And he did. Looks like the worst may be over.

Insert picture of me touching wood, throwing salt over my shoulder and crossing my fingers. Another one of me throwing out all ladders, mirrors, and black cats. And then one of me holding my breath, on my knees, praying.

So this evening looked more like this:

Don't read too over-much into it however. From what I've seen, when your little brother finally has time to take you up on a Madden 08 rematch, you do it, even if you're dying.

This morning, after the second puke, Kenny looked at me and sighed...."What time is my appointment for the braces?" Poor love. He thought he had to get the braced TODAY! Lucky for him, they'll let him wait a while on that. But he was game for it...he's as brave as his dad. And, Cheri, believe it or not, he doesn't even hate Dr. Caso. Always before, the first thing out of his mouth upon regaining consciousness was, "I HATE THAT DENTIST." But he still thinks Antonio is pretty cool. He talks football, and I don't think Dr. Goyer does. Never underestimate the power of the Seahawks, right, Deb?

Sitting now with a bag of frozen corn on his face, reading over my shoulder. He's really appreciated all the notes in the comments. Thanks, guys.

One more thing: this bout of sick/injured kid was somehow different, in that I didn't (internally) scream out for Dave to be here. I mean, I still wished he was. It would have made store trips and transportation a lot easier. And I really miss his puke clean-up skills. And he had an uncanny way of searching out my fears and doubts and making them be quiet, giving me confidence and calm.

But I knew he wasn't here and it was no use screaming or shaking my fist at the sky. I knew I had to just dig in and get 'er done. Is that some form of acceptance? Or simply resignation?

I'm inclined to think the latter.

''In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.'' - John 16:33

''The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.'' - Psalms 34:18, 19

''The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.'' - Psalm 34:18


  1. Michelle:

    I like to call it a "resigned/reluctant but inevitable acceptance."
    I love you, nothing more nothing less, and I miss hime every day.

    Peter Bain


    Hang in there buddy. Have you totally given up on thhe dolphins?

  2. Chelle I know I say this everytime I come here, but you really do rock lol I know there is nothing else to be done, but dig in and do what has to be done, but you do it with grace. Hope today is better - with NO puke.


  3. Hi Michelle,

    Today's entry made me think of this quote from Winnie the Pooh. It's one of my favorites.

    “If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.”

    You're doing great, whether it's resignation, acceptance or whatever.


    So glad to hear you're feeling better. There's nothing worse than spending the day barfing! Enjoy some football this weekend. I'm a Giants and Vikings fan. Expecting a good game from the Giants (I hate the Cowboys with a passion) and an embarrassing loss from the Vikings (who are pathetic, as usual).

    Have a great weekend!

    --Patti in NJ

  4. Grandma & Grandpa Bond11/09/2007 5:09 PM

    Hi Kenny - It is 5:00 PM Friday and I am hoping that you have quit puking and are feeling much better. That football X-box game should do it!! Just remember we love you and we'll see you soon! Love - Grandma & Grandpa Bond.

  5. Kenny and Chelle

    I am glad you have survived and things continue to look up. Hopefully Kenny you will be off to see those Cougars tomorrow. You are amazing Chelle, just amazing and you have survived again and each time you survive you get stronger. Dave is smiling big and he is proud of you Kenny and of course he is proud of the love of his life (his perfect fit) for taking such good care of his children.


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