Skip to main content


is two years, two months, and two days.
I can't do this for two more minutes.
I can't. Just can't be this miserable any more.
I will, though.
When you can't fix it, you gotta stand it, right?

(Later...when I couldn't sleep....)

Or at least find some way to laugh.
Although I SWEAR there are things here I really haven't said, it still made me laugh out loud. Enjoy!

And here's Koda...
oct07 012

And here are the lyrics for those of us who can't keep up. Cool thing is she performed this song at the Women of Faith conference!

Mom Overture

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ‘til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get up here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of…
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Written and performed by Anita Renfroe (copyright 2007 Bluebonnet Hills Music/BMI)


  1. Yeah, isn't it supposed to get better? I still miss him too, all the time, so I shudder to think about how hard this Dave-less-ness is for you. You carry on and time passes and you wait for the sting to recede. Here's hoping for sting-free days sometime in the future, though I have to acknowledge it's not likely.

    Love, -Deb

  2. As much as we wish we could hand out hugs in person on days like today, know that our hearts are reaching out as best we know how. We love you and the kids Shelley and will always do our best to be there for you...even if for now "there" is a few thousand miles away.
    The Mouats

  3. Oh Chelle so many of us hurt for you on days like this. You will get through it today; I know you will. Just close your eyes and feel the love and touch of Dave and it will help you through this. I love you my friend.

  4. Oh Michelle how I wish I had stopped to see you today to drop off the check. Wish I knew how you were feeling today. We can tell you how your loved by so many but I know that is not what you want to hear. We will tell you anyway, we know you know that but it is not the same. It is not Dave's love.
    Thank you for sharing with us how hard it is. We need to know this and we need to learn from it.
    God Bless You, Love You.

  5. Chelle Belle:

    We must be breathing in tandem, or living parallel lives. This month, I am for the first time ever in my life, older than Rob, and it was not supposed to be like this. There is no comfortable place in my life like the one I had with him -- no place to rest my head, no ear to hear about my day, no smile to warm my heart, no ...

    Well, you know the NOs [somehow, the cleverness of the same sounds just does not delight me tonight]! I come home to a place where he is not and I can hardly bear to walk in the door, but I do. I make myself put the proverbial one foot in front of the other and I just soldier on, but inside I am a shaky sad mess.

    It does not matter that to the world it looks as if I am really moving on. It does not matter that I am working and even enjoying the work, or that I am eating and sleeping or whatever. Inside, I want to be anywhere but in my life right now. I just read Fannie Flagg's book Can't Wait to Get to Heaven and thought, "Isn't it time for me to get to go now?"

    But there are kids to love and granddaughters to watch grow up and people who would miss me and I suppose I would miss the years left to me, but ...

    As our friend Dee says, "I don't know" and I really don't. I always think of you asking why Osama ben Laden (sp?) didn't get a brain tumor and I wonder the same thing. There is just no justice in the world, I think. So then I am even more ready to get to Heaven.

    We have to get off this unmerry-go-round, but ...

    Not tonight!!

    All my love and all my sympathy...


  6. Just want to let you know I am sending love your way. Let all your wonderful kids know Uncle Kenny thinks about them often.
    Much Love

  7. Sometimes it's so hard just to stand in it when it feels like quicksand up to your eyeballs.
    Love the song. I need to show the part of because,because,because I'm the mom to Rowene. So funny!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog


So I had my first Walla Walla goodbyes.
The first was my eye doctor, Dr. Poffenroth.
He's taken care of my eyes for 25 years.
He's more than just an eye doctor.  He's a caring person and a friend.
As I left my last appointment, he handed me a card with a referral to a friend of his who practices in Port Angeles.
I looked at the card.
And realized...I won't see him again.

I've been living in a bit of denial.
I know.  Big surprise.

With all the excitement and chaos of moving,
And all the stress of living in limbo,
I somehow missed that I'd be leaving some things
some people

I know I'll be back often.
To see my kids and the new grandbaby,
friends and family.
This fact allowed me to forget...
there are some I won't see.

Even though we promise to keep in touch,
Life has a way of getting busy.
Good intentions and all that.

I  have written many times about Walla Walla.
It's a magical place.
Safe, nurturing.
I never thought I'd leave.

People ask…

Being a Widow on Father's Day

This day never gets easier.

I scroll facebook and I see
that my children and I are not alone.
So many families missing dads on
Father's Day.

We are lucky.
Dave was here,
and fought to stay,
as long as he could.
He left a legacy that we will
always remember.
He was honest and kind and caring.
He was full of faith and joy and love.
His example leads us through every day
without him.
Missing him never goes away.

I want to give a "shout-out"
to all those moms who do double duty.
Who work hard to be the best mom that they can,
and try to fill the empty space left by a dad
who is no longer here.

For the last almost 11 years,
and often in the years before that
when Dave was so sick,
I tried to do what I could.
"There is no way to be a perfect mother,but a million ways to be a good one."
I worked two jobs.  Sometimes three.
A few times, even four.
To make sure my kids could stay in their childhood home,
to try to provide some safety, stability and security
in a wo…


I got a tattoo.  Christine actually wrote on my facebook post, "You??"
Yeah.  Me.

I've been thinking about it for six years.
I finally decided that if after six years, I still wanted it, maybe it was time.

The writing is Dave and Doug's.
Taken from notes they wrote me.
They always signed their notes the same way.

I thought I was doing it in memory of them.
To mark the way they are always on my heart.
To have a visible reminder.
A permanent keepsake,
always with me.

And while it is that.
It is also more.

I didn't realize it,
until afterwards.

It's a marker.
A closing of a chapter.
Closure, if you will.

I don't know how to explain it.
The minute it was finished,
I knew.
I knew something inside me was different.

and to a lesser extent,
have been part of my every thought
every day
for over 10 years.

Daryl saw the Dali Lama this summer.
One thing he learned:
Interrogate your truth.

I've been thinking about that a lot.

Interrogate implies a…