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Moving On

Okay, so who am I kidding?

I get up in the morning, Dave's toothrbrush is still thre in the drawer next to mine.

His is lime green, incidentally.

I could give you a thousand other examples, but this one seems to say it all.

Speaking of not facing things...Kyle would have graduated from high school this year.

I'm pretty good at this ostrich thing, eh?

Comments

  1. You're not an ostrich, and "moving on" is mostly a myth.

    We don't "move on" really, we just figure out some way to incorporate what happened into our lives.

    Grief to me is like this big ungainly piece of furniture that shows up on your doorstep one morning.

    You bring it into your house, but it doesn't really fit anywhere, it's in the way of everything, you have to squeeze around it to go to all the places you need to go, you bump into it in the middle of the night, you are bruised from the number of times you've slammed into it.

    So you rearrange everything in your house and pretty soon you find a place that it kind of fits. It's so big and ungainly it will never really fit in, but it's not so much in the way.

    But life is all about change and as you bring new items into your house, pretty soon you find it doesn't really fit any more and you have to find a new place for it.

    There's no right or wrong way to do grief. And you're not an ostrich.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Girlfriend
    It is ok to "not move on." It is ok to miss Dave with all your heart and soul. People always say as time goes on it gets better. You and I we know that is a bunch of garbage. So keep Dave's lime green toothbrush right next to yours as long as you want and hopefully memories of your prince and your oldest son fill your dreams forever. You were a great wife and a super mom. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is a comfort in opening the drawer and seeing his things, I think there is. The toothbrush...something so simple, so....NORMAL. Something he touched every single day. And put right next to yours. You're not an ostrich. You are living with it. You aren't burying your head Chelle, you are living with this thing in your life, and trying to do the best you can. And you know what...you're doing pretty darn good. Keep the toothbrush.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michelle,
    I'd like to send you a song that was shared with us shortly before my son, Matt, passed away. I think it will give you comfort. Please send me a note so I will have your email address.
    lori_ware@alticor.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. There's no time table on moving on.
    Maybe there is no moving on. Maybe it's just living day to day. Tangable things keep us grounded. It's one way to stay close to Dave.
    Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I saw this and thought of you.

    http://www.storypeople.com/storypeople/WebStory.do?action=product&storyID=3379&productCategoryID=1000

    --Patti in NJ

    ReplyDelete
  7. Keep the toothbrush Michelle. Always keep the toothbrush. You are still my inspiration to keep on going. The webpage doesn't even begin to explain this ride...but I know you know.

    Oh, and cute dog. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete

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