Skip to main content

Moving On

Okay, so who am I kidding?

I get up in the morning, Dave's toothrbrush is still thre in the drawer next to mine.

His is lime green, incidentally.

I could give you a thousand other examples, but this one seems to say it all.

Speaking of not facing things...Kyle would have graduated from high school this year.

I'm pretty good at this ostrich thing, eh?

Comments

  1. Kathy7/03/2007 1:01 PM

    You're not an ostrich, and "moving on" is mostly a myth.

    We don't "move on" really, we just figure out some way to incorporate what happened into our lives.

    Grief to me is like this big ungainly piece of furniture that shows up on your doorstep one morning.

    You bring it into your house, but it doesn't really fit anywhere, it's in the way of everything, you have to squeeze around it to go to all the places you need to go, you bump into it in the middle of the night, you are bruised from the number of times you've slammed into it.

    So you rearrange everything in your house and pretty soon you find a place that it kind of fits. It's so big and ungainly it will never really fit in, but it's not so much in the way.

    But life is all about change and as you bring new items into your house, pretty soon you find it doesn't really fit any more and you have to find a new place for it.

    There's no right or wrong way to do grief. And you're not an ostrich.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sue7/03/2007 8:11 PM

    Hey Girlfriend
    It is ok to "not move on." It is ok to miss Dave with all your heart and soul. People always say as time goes on it gets better. You and I we know that is a bunch of garbage. So keep Dave's lime green toothbrush right next to yours as long as you want and hopefully memories of your prince and your oldest son fill your dreams forever. You were a great wife and a super mom. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CB7/05/2007 7:51 AM

    There is a comfort in opening the drawer and seeing his things, I think there is. The toothbrush...something so simple, so....NORMAL. Something he touched every single day. And put right next to yours. You're not an ostrich. You are living with it. You aren't burying your head Chelle, you are living with this thing in your life, and trying to do the best you can. And you know what...you're doing pretty darn good. Keep the toothbrush.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7/06/2007 9:12 AM

    Michelle,
    I'd like to send you a song that was shared with us shortly before my son, Matt, passed away. I think it will give you comfort. Please send me a note so I will have your email address.
    lori_ware@alticor.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous7/07/2007 1:09 AM

    There's no time table on moving on.
    Maybe there is no moving on. Maybe it's just living day to day. Tangable things keep us grounded. It's one way to stay close to Dave.
    Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7/07/2007 7:23 AM

    I saw this and thought of you.

    http://www.storypeople.com/storypeople/WebStory.do?action=product&storyID=3379&productCategoryID=1000

    --Patti in NJ

    ReplyDelete
  7. Deanne Messinger7/08/2007 7:51 PM

    Keep the toothbrush Michelle. Always keep the toothbrush. You are still my inspiration to keep on going. The webpage doesn't even begin to explain this ride...but I know you know.

    Oh, and cute dog. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kyle

Tomorrow is January 2. One of the five happiest days of my life. It's the day Kyle was born. Dave was so excited. All through the pregnancy, Dave was sure this was a girl. He bought this little pink sleeper. He was just sure that Kyle was a girl. Actually, he was sure it was a girl all four times! But if he were to be a boy, his name was to be Kenny or Erik. Kenny or Erik. Erik or Kenny. We went back and forth. Dave said, "Oh, it didn't matter anyway, since Amanda Loree was going to be born." A few days before Kyle was born, we had an ultrasound, because there had been so much confusion on his due date (turned out he was 3.5 weeks overdue!), and we discovered he was a boy! A boy! We were amazed. And suddenly decided to name him Kyle. Don't ask me why or how. It just happened. Dave's brother, Bob, was in town for the weekend. I'd had a lot of contractions on Dave's birthday, he was hoping that Kyle would be born on his birthday, but it didn...
52 comments
Read more

Tumor Board

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 1:13 PM CDT We met with doctors at Harborview yesterday. Dave has a new growth in his right frontal lobe. This new growth is very small, but it was not evident at his MRI in May, and shows on the MRI in July. It's quite scary that it has grown so quickly, and is in a new place. It's also scary that it grew while Dave was on temodar (chemo). The doctors from the tumor board are recommending gamma knife. Gamma knife is high intensity radiation that is very accurate and focused on the tumor growth. There are 201 beams aimed at the tumor. (See the main page for a link to information about gamma knife, you have to scroll to the bottom.) On Thursday, August 19, 2004, Dave will undergo gamma knife at Harborview in Seattle. We are hoping that this will halt the growth of the tumor. He will go into the hospital at 7:00 am and they will place a halo or frame around his head, by screwing it into his skull (ouch! They will give him some IV pain meds). They took x-r...
27 comments
Read more

Catching Up

Hello Constant Reader, Friend, Ally, Supporter, Prayer Warrior, Brother, Sister... I'm not sure what I would do without the support I get through this blog. I might go insane. Wait...I might be there already. In fact so much so that I asked my children tonight what they thought of moving to the Seattle area. They all looked at me like I had three heads. I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic, but I look around and realize that in many ways, I'm terribly unhappy and lonely. So like any good 12-stepper, I look for a quick fix...geographical cure. Wouldn't it be nice to start over? Just ditch everything and go somewhere new and fresh and clean? Not really, I guess. For instance, we would have missed this one: Zach says, "Mom, I need lunch money." (This, as I'm sweetly encouraging Kenny for the 15th time to get in the shower, as I'm gently reminding Kate for the 10th time to brush her teeth, as I'm giving positive affirmations to them all...
15 comments
Read more