Chemo Day, try again

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:31 AM CDT

Chemo day!

Please pray that Dave's counts are up so that he can get the CPT-11 as scheduled today. Also pray the dern port works like it's supposed to! (grrrr)

Had a great trip to Idaho...more later, with pics. Kenny had a blast at football camp. The players are fabulous.

Zach ended a great season (a losing team, but Z had a great year and kept his spirits up). He found out that he made the 13 year old All-Star Team! He's very excited about that. They get introduced at the championship game tomorrow, and we're all excited and proud. MORE baseball...it just doesn't get any better than that!

Amy and Luke are visiting with Grandma and Grandpa. How fun for the kids.

My mom and dad are still here. They've been amazing. So willing to drop everything to come and help. They have their own lives, their own committments, and yet, when we need them, they are here unconditionally. It's more than we could ask for. We are blessed beyond belief to have them and their giving hearts and hands. I don't know what I'd do without them holding down the fort, taxi-ing kids and helping Dave so I can still work. Thank you Lord, for providing this gift of caring through them.

Thanks for the many notes this week.

Love you all! Shell

Comments

Goodbyes

So I had my first Walla Walla goodbyes.
The first was my eye doctor, Dr. Poffenroth.
He's taken care of my eyes for 25 years.
He's more than just an eye doctor. He's a caring person and a friend.
As I left my last appointment, he handed me a card with a referral to a friend of his who practices in Port Angeles.
I looked at the card.
And realized...I won't see him again.

I've been living in a bit of denial.
I know. Big surprise.

With all the excitement and chaos of moving,
And all the stress of living in limbo,
I somehow missed that I'd be leaving some things
some people
behind.

I know I'll be back often.
To see my kids and the new grandbaby,
friends and family.
This fact allowed me to forget...
there are some I won't see.

Even though we promise to keep in touch,
Life has a way of getting busy.
Good intentions and all that.

I have written many times about Walla Walla.
It's a magical place.
Safe, nurturing.
I never thought I'd leave.

People ask…

Being a Widow on Father's Day

This day never gets easier.
never

I scroll facebook and I see
that my children and I are not alone.
So many families missing dads on
Father's Day.

We are lucky.
Dave was here,
and fought to stay,
as long as he could.
He left a legacy that we will
always remember.
He was honest and kind and caring.
He was full of faith and joy and love.
His example leads us through every day
without him.
Missing him never goes away.

I want to give a "shout-out"
to all those moms who do double duty.
Who work hard to be the best mom that they can,
and try to fill the empty space left by a dad
who is no longer here.

For the last almost 11 years,
and often in the years before that
when Dave was so sick,
I tried to do what I could.
"There is no way to be a perfect mother,but a million ways to be a good one."
I worked two jobs. Sometimes three.
A few times, even four.
To make sure my kids could stay in their childhood home,
to try to provide some safety, stability and security
in a wo…

Tattoo

So.
I got a tattoo. Christine actually wrote on my facebook post, "You??"
Yeah. Me.

I've been thinking about it for six years.
I finally decided that if after six years, I still wanted it, maybe it was time.

The writing is Dave and Doug's.
Taken from notes they wrote me.
They always signed their notes the same way.

I thought I was doing it in memory of them.
To mark the way they are always on my heart.
To have a visible reminder.
A permanent keepsake,
always with me.

And while it is that.
It is also more.

I didn't realize it,
until afterwards.

It's a marker.
A closing of a chapter.
Closure, if you will.

I don't know how to explain it.
The minute it was finished,
I knew.
I knew something inside me was different.

Dave,
and to a lesser extent,
Doug,
have been part of my every thought
every day
for over 10 years.

Daryl saw the Dali Lama this summer.
One thing he learned:
Interrogate your truth.

I've been thinking about that a lot.

Interrogate implies a…

Team Meyer

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