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Showing posts from 2011

Six years

I guess I'm supposed to have something to say.
Something wise.
Something heartfelt.
Oh - and something new.

I don't.

I actually told someone I was going to post:
and leave it at that.

Not sure anyone wants to hear the same old things.
Especially me.

The tears most bitter
slip silently from
summer sunglasses.

Yesterday was six years since the end.
Not only the end of Dave's life on earth,
but the end of mine as I knew it.

But it also marks six years
of a new beginning.

Yesterday was also the first day of school.
And as we placed flowers on Dave's rock,
I thought about how in an hour or so,
the building behind us would come alive,
empty, echoing rooms would fill
with laughter and lecture,
with cheers and complaints,
and all the drama that is high school.

Dave loved the first day of the school year.
It's shiny and new and fairly bursting
with promise
and hope.

It's a chance to start over,
to get it right this time.
Fresh and clean.

Baby flies...

How did this happen?
I knew it would.

My Kate. Little Red. Baby Cakes.
She's in Germany, on the autobonne. Heading to a Mercedes-Benz factory.

I always knew she'd go far.
Not "going far" as in being successful, although that's a certainty as well.
But literally. Going far...far away from lil Walla Walla.

This child has had the world by the tail since before she could walk. She was born into it. Dave had waited through four pregancies before getting his girl. He adored her without reservation. And so did her brothers. On Grant Street, the sun rose and set on a little girl with copper ringlets who wrinkled her nose and stamped her foot and filled our house with sweet giggles.

She was always a little miffed when the rest of the world didn't stop on a dime for her. She fully expected it should. She was a keen observer and a real thinker. At preschool they thought she was shy. Far from it. She was carefully watching and considering. She could describe the action…

Autism Awareness

Open Letter to the World: (from!/AwarenessIsNotEnough

(The first part is from the Autism Understanding and Acceptance website. I have left it in its original format, even though I would change a few things - particularly the capitalization :D. I have added our story after the words "This is what autism means to me....")

Awareness is not enough.

We (The Autism Community) need for you to know what Autism is.
We can only achieve that through Autism Understanding and Acceptance.

Awareness of autism has risen dramatically in the past few years, and awareness is certainly a good place to start. Increased awareness has helped parents get earlier diagnoses for their children, and it has helped secure funding for research. However, it hasn’t done much to change public perception of what autism really is.

This is a call out to the world to understand the people and the disorder.

This is a call out to the world to acce…

Simba, Mufasa & Rafiki

Remember the Lion King?
Remember the Circle of Life?

I've been thinking about it a lot.
I find myself actually thinking in cliche's.
About seasons turning,
winds of change,
things like that.

Once upon a time,
my children were babies.

I held them, rocked them, sometimes I couldn't even put them down for a nap, I just held them the whole time. I admit to being a bit more...what's the word? Attached, hovering, paranoid? ...than most moms. After all, I knew what it was to lose a child. And I held those moments dear. Savoring every moment. Watching dark eyelashes flutter against perfect pink skin, listening to little contented sighs. Breathing in the unique scent of those little tufts of baby hair. Touching little rosebud toes.

I couldn't imagine anything better.
And then they grew.
Sticky hands, wobbly steps, hugs back, squeals of laughter and hearing "mama."
Surely this is the best it gets.
And then they're in preschool.
Silly songs, maki…