Skip to main content

August Blog Challenge - Day 22

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

I always wonder why they ask questions like this.  Job interviewers do it to judge whether you'll stay long enough to be worth the effort it takes to train you.  Dates do it to judge whether your goals are in line.  Lovers do it to judge whether you are seeing them in your future.  Parents do it to judge whether they're gonna have to pay your bills or not.  Kids do it to judge whether their home base is still safe.

But I'm not sure there are really answers to these questions.  I subscribe to the old adage, "Man plans. God laughs."

I have had many plans in my life.  Dreams, goals, visions for my future.  I could see them so clearly, planned so carefully, knew what I wanted, what I was working toward.

And then real life settles in.
Or sometimes, rears its ugly head.
And crashes in on you.
And then comes the after...the readjusting, the rebuilding.

Am I avoiding the question?  Perhaps.
Perhaps.

For the first time in a long time, I have hope.  When I think about my future, I see that my life can be more than what it has been.  More than surviving day-to-day, more than getting up, drinking coffee, going to work, feeding dogs and kids, cleaning house, reading books, and going to bed.

Maybe I'm afraid to jinx it.

Let's just say this.
I love my life today.  I really do.
I have a dream job, terrific kids, fabulous friends, loyal family, good books, enough food, more than enough dogs, and love.  I'm blessed beyond what I ever hoped for.

So, if it's okay with you, I'm going to just enjoy that today.
To love the life I've been given today.
To not over-think or over-worry about what may or may not happen in some tomorrow.

Carpe the fuck out of that diem, darling.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kyle

Tomorrow is January 2. One of the five happiest days of my life. It's the day Kyle was born. Dave was so excited. All through the pregnancy, Dave was sure this was a girl. He bought this little pink sleeper. He was just sure that Kyle was a girl. Actually, he was sure it was a girl all four times! But if he were to be a boy, his name was to be Kenny or Erik. Kenny or Erik. Erik or Kenny. We went back and forth. Dave said, "Oh, it didn't matter anyway, since Amanda Loree was going to be born." A few days before Kyle was born, we had an ultrasound, because there had been so much confusion on his due date (turned out he was 3.5 weeks overdue!), and we discovered he was a boy! A boy! We were amazed. And suddenly decided to name him Kyle. Don't ask me why or how. It just happened. Dave's brother, Bob, was in town for the weekend. I'd had a lot of contractions on Dave's birthday, he was hoping that Kyle would be born on his birthday, but it didn'

Tumor Board

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 1:13 PM CDT We met with doctors at Harborview yesterday. Dave has a new growth in his right frontal lobe. This new growth is very small, but it was not evident at his MRI in May, and shows on the MRI in July. It's quite scary that it has grown so quickly, and is in a new place. It's also scary that it grew while Dave was on temodar (chemo). The doctors from the tumor board are recommending gamma knife. Gamma knife is high intensity radiation that is very accurate and focused on the tumor growth. There are 201 beams aimed at the tumor. (See the main page for a link to information about gamma knife, you have to scroll to the bottom.) On Thursday, August 19, 2004, Dave will undergo gamma knife at Harborview in Seattle. We are hoping that this will halt the growth of the tumor. He will go into the hospital at 7:00 am and they will place a halo or frame around his head, by screwing it into his skull (ouch! They will give him some IV pain meds). They took x-r

Goodbyes

So I had my first Walla Walla goodbyes. The first was my eye doctor, Dr. Poffenroth. He's taken care of my eyes for 25 years. He's more than just an eye doctor.  He's a caring person and a friend. As I left my last appointment, he handed me a card with a referral to a friend of his who practices in Port Angeles. I looked at the card. And realized...I won't see him again. I've been living in a bit of denial. I know.  Big surprise. With all the excitement and chaos of moving, And all the stress of living in limbo, I somehow missed that I'd be leaving some things some people behind. I know I'll be back often. To see my kids and the new grandbaby, friends and family. This fact allowed me to forget... there are some I won't see. Even though we promise to keep in touch, Life has a way of getting busy. Good intentions and all that. I  have written many times about Walla Walla. It's a magical place. Safe, nurturing. I never thou